Overcoming Fear of Anything

Four worst Fears

Brendon Burchard

Most fears are mismanagement of the mind because they are mental & emotional & involve some conjured up future event

A valid fear is if you meet a lion while out hiking – Physical danger that is very real

We tend to have 4 primary fears but under them is really a bedrock of 2 fears

Once you understand what’s going on you aren’t as likely to be giving in to fear

Most fears these days is just poor management of your mind

You need to understand how fear may be consciously or unconsciously holding you back

I hope you get some ideas here as to how to use your mind better

Primary Fear #1 – Ruin

Eg.  I will ruin my life if I do that or at least ruin my job, relationship, business, friendship etc

We catastrophise a potential event with a terrible outcome

We must ask – Is this really true

1 incident, 1 event, 1 chance – you are going to say that just 1 thing is going to cause so much damage

You have a choice as to how you are going to show up in life

Tomorrow you choose what your attitude is going to be, your actions are & what you’re going to work towards

Realising you have choice & working thru this – that gives you personal power

Have you already screwed up in life? Of course, we all have but did it destroy us?

When we do badly or make mistakes it gives us the opportunity to build

The mindset changes from – this is going to ruin me – to – I am building here. I will rise like a phoenix every time

What this “bad” event will do is build your character, build your skillset, build your capability to be resilient so you can keep going

Switch your mindset from Ruin to Build

It is wise to consider the consequences of a worst case scenario ONCE but if you keep repeating this you are planning to fail

If you obsess about worst case scenarios, you are living in fear

Primary Fear #2 – Rejection

Eg. If I do this she will dump me, If I do this I will be ridiculed and made fun of

Most of the comments on this video will be judgemental & labelling me an idiot but I have seen millions of them & I am OK with this

Your progress in life is not dictated by other peoples approval, acceptance or understanding of you

Their understanding is not required for your progress so stop thinking others need to cheer you on

When you realise that other people don’t need to approve of your actions or cheer you on, rejection is not so scary

Truth – Most rejection doesn’t last. Your school friend gave you a hard time but now they are not even in your life

Many of us have had our hearts broken like I did & it took a car accident to wake me up to realise I want to live & not die

The person who rejected & cheated on me has no hold on me now unless I choose to allow such feelings in to myself

I choose to shape my own life so rejection doesn’t have the stranglehold on because you realise that no matter what you do some people are going to support you and others are going to hate you for it – this will always be the case

Stop guiding your life based on the opinions of the haters & proceed to make live your life based on decisions you make for yourself based on who you want to become, what you want to have & what you want to contribute

When you follow your path & focus on your thing & don’t expect many to cheer you on then its very easy to ignore them

Only people who are surprised that there are haters are stopped by opinions of others

Primary Fear #3 – Regret

Eg. If I do something I am going to regret it – Always! – really, always?

Please stop thinking of your life in terms of always

There is not always going to be things negative in your life unless you choose it to be

“Always” is not a good parameter

If you make a decision & the grass is not actually greener on the other side at least you made a decision to move forwards

The real fear should be stagnation, going backwards, not growing & not trying

If you do something which you later regret then stand back & say sorry to anyone & ask what did I learn, how can I be a better person & how to do it better next time

Once you adopt a learning Mindset, regret tends to go away

If you right now are feeling regret for something you did you need to take action to release it so you can move forward confident & free

Apologise to others if necessary & also forgive yourself because at that time you weren’t so aware or conscious as you now are

Don’t make excuses for yourself but recognise where you were & let it go so you can move on

Ask – how would my highest or best self do this or approach this. The more Q you ask about your best self the less you do things you regret later on

Don’t let regret stop you, let it drive you on to do better next time. Ask is this in alignment with what I stand for

Stalling is the bigger fear over regret

Primary Fear #4 – Greater Responsibility

A lot of people are scared of taking on more responsibility than they already have

We think if we have more success or more abundance or more responsibility, I won’t be able to handle it

The fear is – its too big for me, I am not good enough, I can’t deal with it so they back off from their dreams

We may tell ourselves we are comfortable here where we are because its easier than making the effort to move forwards

You must make a choice – Do you want to live a comfortable life right where you are at now or do you want to grow & do more & serve more. This will require you to take on more!

When I started doing videos there was just me & a small video

When I first needed to expand I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to hire a team, I didn’t know how to find the right people & build a culture & make a company & conduct business. I didn’t know how to do that

I had to ask myself – Do I want to reach more people? If I do I have to adopt the responsibility of all the necessary requirements

I was scared of all that it would take. I did NOT let that internal fear dictate my external actions I took to make my dream a reality

I don’t know if I can handle this but the only way to know is to try to handle it

I moved forwards learning & I didn’t get it right all the time but I gave myself the shot to go for it

If you don’t give yourself the chance to try things you may actually regret this for the rest of your life

I believe the would have, could have & should have are bigger fears than your concerns about whether you could handle it

Under these 4 primary fears there are 2 foundational fears operating

Foundational Fear #1 – Inadequacy

The thought that – I am not good enough for them or good enough to handle the level of responsibility etc

We fear we don’t have what it takes to move forwards & through the failures

I am here to tell you that if you are here watching this or something like it, you are definitely more than enough

The opposite of inadequacy is confidence but confidence is just your belief in your ability to figure things out

You don’t have to have all the capabilities now because you will grow into them

You don’t have to have it all figured out now because you will learn as you go along – just get moving

Stop letting inadequacy hold you back

Originally I didn’t have any of the skills I have today

I was scared of public speaking, I didn’t know how to use cameras, I didn’t know how to make a difference, I didn’t know how to build a curriculum, social media, hire employees, build a business along with other things

Now today I have 4 major brands, tens of millions of customers & fans around the world, around 1000 employees & I didn’t know how to do any of that but it didn’t stop me because I had the confidence that I could believe in myself & figure it out

You must shift from “You are not good enough” to I am just not trained enough yet

Stop thinking you have to be fully actual in the moment. You are enough now as a human who can build the capabilities as you go

Confidence is the belief in ones ability to figure things out

Foundational Fear #2 – Insignificance

The thought that I don’t or won’t matter regardless of what I do

This is for some the greatest fear of all – that we won’t matter

What throws people into deep depression or suicidal thoughts sometimes is – I don’t matter

I am an ant, I am nothing, I hate myself, I am worth nothing – That is a terrible feeling & a terrible place to be operating from

Many of us have these thoughts & they weaken us

If we break up a relationship we fear we are not going to be loved or cared for, we are not going to mean anything to others

That is a real fear so what do you have to do?. What is the opposite?

You can be driven by this fear or you can be driven by service

You don’t usually consider if you are significant or insignificant if you are focused on connecting with other people & adding value to the world. Getting outside of our small little world inside our heads

If you ask yourself every day “what can I do today to contribute, show compassion, show empathy & serve”

Your mind goes “I do matter” so ask how can you be a better servant

I call this my HiPX for High Performance Experience. We are all trying to live that next level of experience

We don’t want to be average, we want to be high performers, right?

My Team HiPX are my customers – I encourage them to double down on their goodness

I don’t treat this just as a phrase but when you practice your goodness, you stop worrying about your significance

The evidence is there that you are significant. Serve, make your contribution & difference in the world & your mind sees what you are doing so you can’t say I am insignificant because I am doing something good that helps & serves so the fear goes away

When you make even just a few of these mindset shifts, I promise you they will change your life

You are either going to be guided by the fear of those things or by your consciousness of the freedom you know you have to shape  your own mind

Fear is ultimately a choice, every day either fear wins or freedom wins – I choose Freedom

Every day you have a choice to be average or a choice to be extraordinary

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